"We are all in this humans race together and it's our job to make sure we all cross the finish line as one."

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Escape from The Planet of the Social Media Apes: The Burnout

 The joints of their knuckles ached. Their wrists were stiff as the first sign of primate related Carpal Tunnel Syndrome waged war on their usually limber joints. Many of the Apes had gone to be fitted for reading glasses as the hours spent in front of computers had taken its toll. The hunt for those filthy human pests, once the primary focus of the work day, was now just a “real world” distraction to the social media frenzy the Apes had fallen victim to.

Social Media burn out had come to the PLANET OF THE APES!

It had been 1,310 years since the rise of the Apes and the planet was falling into chaos as young apes started to be absorbed into the video game circus and were more interested in reaching the highest level of Street Gorilla Fighter or Ape Escape 3.

Apes had forgotten about ape on ape interaction and the pleasantries of popping by a fellow apes home with a fine bottle of banana wine for an evening of chat. Quick and convenient online dialogue with the new aPhone 5G from Banana Computers had replaced the personal conection.

Dr. Zaius: Bored. Going bananas at home. What are you doing tonight?

Dr. Milo: Working on a time traveling rocket ship to take me away from it all, LOL.

Dr. Zaius: Seriously? Up 4 a quick chat before “Housewives of Chimp City” comes on?

Dr. Milo: No thanks. Want to get this done so I can update my status. Then escape in my rocket.

Just like the humans who turned their brains to taffy a thousand years earlier the Apes needed to take a step back, and take stock of how to manage their social media and real world activities. The same rules apply to them that did to the humans:

-Set defined parameters for what you really need social media wise especially if it’s primate, I mean primarily personal branding you are engaged in.

- Pace your use by setting times to check in with all your social media outlets and make a schedule of times of the day to do so. Shut down at 5:00pm! That should be personal time and if you have family? It had better be spent with them or there will eventually not be much of one to come home to.

- Take 5! 5 days that is and step away from the social media circuit. Spend it with friends in the real world that you have and or met online and share a bottle of Banana Wine! If you’re more concerned about how your Klout score will look at the end of that week than you are about knowing the score of life then you have gone ape! I mean….Human.

Oh this just in; it’s been reported that Doctors Cornelius, Zira and Milo have escaped from the planet in a rocket ship in an attempted  to find peace and quiet in Earths past. We will of course Tweet, text, interrupt G+ chats and update Fuzzyfacebook with developments. We now return you to your regularly scheduled real lives.

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