The 80's Solid Hits of Customer Service from K-Tel!

The following is an actual transcript of a cassette tape that was discovered in the basement of a warehouse to a long gone company called K-Tel Records that produced “greatest hit” compilations from the 70’s through the late 80’s.

The date on the tape is labeled 1989 and the handwritten black marker lettering said simply “Commercial voice over for concept hits package “80’s Smash Hits of Customer Service”. Due to the degraded and damaged audio, I have conveniently transcribed this voice from yesteryear in hopes to preserve this little bit of customer service history.

Enjoy.



“K-Tel presents “Solid Hits of Customer Service”! This dynamite collection of songs consumers, like yourself, are singing to customer service reps and what they are singing back to you! No other collection has such explosive chart toppers like these!  Just dig these high-power customer complaint tracks!

Do Really Want To Hurt Me? by Culture Club (sound clip) “Do you really wanna hurt me?/Do ya really wanna make me cry?”

Silent Running by Mike and The Mechanics (sound clip) “Can you hear me/Can you hear me running/Can you hear me running /But can’t you hear me calling you?”

Don’t You Want Me by The Human League (sound clip) Don’t you want me baby?/Don’t you want me Ohhh ohhhh?”

We’re Not Going to Take it by Twisted Sister (sound clip) “We’re not going to take it/No, we ain’t going to ake it/We’re not going to take it anymore!”

Missing You by John Waite (sound clip) “I ain’t missing you at all/Since you been gone away/I ain’t missing you/No matter what I might say.”

Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds (sound clip) “Will you recognise me?/ Call my name or walk on by/ Don’t’ you forget about me!”

Plus you get these power-packed smashes about customer service gone right for customers!

The Way You Make me Feel by King of Pop, Michael Jackson! (sound clip) The way you make me feel/really turns me me on/You knock e off my feet now”

What I Like About You by The Romantics “Keep on whispering in my ear/tell me all the things that I wanna hear/Cause it’s true/It’s what I like about you”

Also these amazing customer service response songs to consumers!

Call Me by Go West (sound clip) “Call me/Call me/No time to hesitate we must communicate/Call me/ Just call this number now!”

Let My Love Open The Door by Peter Townsend (sound clip) “When everybody keeps retreating /But you can't seem to get enough/Let my love open the door to your heart”

That’s What Friends Are For by Steve Wonder and Dionne Warwick (sound clip) “For good times/For bad times/I’ll be on your side forever more/That’s what friends are for.”

Yes, these and many, many others can be yours NOW! What are you waiting for? This limited edition collection is available now at Crazy Eddies, Gimbals, Woolworths and other great stores!”

K-Tel Records had folded up shop before this final project ever saw the light of day. Sadly, the days of
K-Tel Records hit’s collections have been replaced with individual compressed digital downloads. But the beat goes on and perhaps the Customer Service boom would have come earlier had this collection ever hit the shelves.

K-Tel, we MISS YOU! And So It Goes….

Dedicated to Dave Reynolds and Rickie Tyler at 99.7 FM The River